… standing with your back against the wall
… standing with your back against the wall
I had thought my “rear deck” speech was ready to go. I had worked on it previously in another stage of this experiment and was happy with what I came up with.. The problem is, my life changed direction in the few weeks time that passed between writing it the first time and being asked to describe my Life’s Purpose and rear deck speech as one of the 7 in training. And so… I started over, to redefine my purpose, and it hasn’t been an easy task! It felt a bit like that carnival ride – you know the one that you climb into this space ship-like-globe and stand with your back against the wall? When the ride begins, the entire thing begins spinning, and as it reaches top speed, the floor drops out from underneath you (but the speed of spinning keeps you held plastered against the wall and no one falls with the floor!) Only… for me, in my real life ride, I did start to fall down with the floor as it was ripped out from underneath me – lucky for me though, I realized what was happening and climbed back up the side and took my place, ready to exit the ride and move forward.
It’s easy to say all that I do not want in life. I made the decision right out of college 6 years ago that I didn’t want to work for someone else – even though I didn’t realize WHY I was making that decision at the time. It was disguised by having my first son right out of college and thinking I chose the self-employment route in order to have more time with him. (This is true of course, I am pleased my decision allowed me to be home with him and raise him and home again when his brother was born three years later, but I think it was more than wanting to be a mom at home.) I can’t function in the constraints of a cubicle and rules established by someone else, rules that can’t be challenged. My one “real” job was in a government office. I worked full time for almost three years while in college, and it was a place where ideas were not welcomed. You did what the procedure manual described, exactly how it was described, and there was no reason to ever make any changes to procedure! This is not an environment I could live out my life’s purpose in, day after day.
What I see as my life’s purpose hasn’t changed much due to the drastic redirection of my life. The purpose, after all- is why I’m here, why I choose to live my life the way I do, but the way I would describe this life to my grandchildren sixty or seventy years from now in the rear deck speech has changed.
After considering what I don’t want, and trying to pinpoint the things in life that I do want to experience or have, I have come to the conclusion that my life’s purpose is not much different than the others I’ve been reading here. (Maybe that is why we’re all here together? Because it takes certain personalities to actually live their purpose??) Above all, I want to enjoy quality time with family and friends – and by quality, I mean experiencing life together and without the constraints our finances typically place on us. For instance, I would love to travel with my children as they get older – and experience different cultures and just see and do things we can’t do staying in one place all the time; financial resources are required to make that happen. So often, families fall into the trap of rushing around to get to school and work, rushing around afterwards to get homework and family chores done, and enjoy maybe one or two vacations together each year if they’re lucky because there isn’t time or money to do more… and while they may be in it together- it’s not experiencing all there is to experience in life is it?
For me, my purpose in life is to have that quality time with family and friends, and the financial resources to enjoy life to it’s full capacity (traveling, entertainment, the time to help others realize the same). The financial resources that make it possible to live out this purpose would have to be gained through projects and work that mean something to me, that make a difference in more lives than just my own. I think I’ve already started one possibility of reaching that goal through my writing program, and am excited to realize I could be very close to achieving my dreams. Above all, I feel the need to make decisions in life that are based on more than just money – which means the money must be there and available so that it stops preventing me from taking action.
To my grandchildren… sixty or seventy years from now, I’d love to be able to pull them into my lap and tell them the story of how grandma’s drive and motivation made it possible for them to live life the way they are living it. I’m not even talking about the possessions they might have as a result of my reaching my “magic number” – but how they have the time and ability to experience life with their parents and friends, the time and desire to help out in their communities and volunteering… and how they are learning about other cultures by visiting them, rather than out of books or from television. I’d love to teach them that having passion and determination opens doors to whatever it is they need to reach in their own lives- and I’d love to be teaching them this based on my real life experience. Do what I do, not just what I say.
Good post Debbie. Sounds like you value your time, your freedom and travel as much as I do. Good luck on the start of your journey as you begin to define what you NEED and where you need to be!